the ballerina blues

need a mirror, America?

2011-10-11T02:38:00.000-07:00

“The people of the [United States], like people everywhere, are seeking a chance to contribute and to have a role in the decisions that will shape their lives. Leaders need to respond to these aspirations and to help build that better future for all. They need to view that civil society as their partner and not as a threat…

But they were met with an iron fist…

The [American] people sought nothing more than to exercise their universal rights. We call upon the [United States] government to abide by the international obligations that it has to respect the rights of its own people. We call for the immediate release of all who have been unjustly detained…

I am confident that history will be on the side of those who seek justice.

It is the responsibility of the government of [The United States] to respect the universal rights of their own people, including their right to free expression and assembly.”

behold,

the beginning is coming.

come gather 'round people wherever you roam and admit that the waters around you have grown and accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone. if your time to you is worth savin' then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone for the times they are a-changin'.

come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen and keep your eyes wide the chance won't come again and don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin and there's no tellin' who that it's namin'. for the loser now will be later to win for the times they are a-changin'.

come senators, congressmen please heed the call. don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall for he that gets hurt will be he who has stalled. there's a battle outside ragin', it'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls, for the times they are a-changin'.

come mothers and fathers throughout the land and don't criticize what you can't understand. your sons and your daughters are beyond your command, your old road is rapidly agin'. please get out of the new one if you can't lend your hand, for the times they are a-changin'.

...

-Bob Dylan, 1964.

1,279 cities and growing, worldwide.

we are peaceful.

we are powerful.

we WILL prevail.

we are the 99%.

occupy together.

the revolution is NOW.

2011-10-04T07:46:00.000-07:00

Occupy Wall Street. Occupy Los Angeles. Occupy Together.

170+ cities all around the country, and all around the world.

In Solidarity.

the 99% of the US population have been forced into poverty and injustice while the greedy corporate pigs have been collecting on our behalf. we have been repeatedly shown that the people matter less than personal profit and power. hundreds of billions of people are hungry, exhausted, and scared for their future. our government has been bought, and our democratic justice has been compromised.

but not anymore.
we, the people, are fed up with this subjugation. we will not remain silent. we will no longer remain enslaved.

"We, the people of the United States of America, considering the crisis at hand, now reassert our sovereign control of our land." (Occupy Wall Street)

The Occupy movement is a leaderless organization with demands of direct democracy from the government. we are exercising our rights to protest and we stand together in peaceful Civil Disobedience. we all have different specific demands from our governments, but the main ideals are held in common. we want CHANGE. we want to see the HOPE that has been promised to us.

for me, personally, the Occupy movement represents freedom. freedom to stand up against oppression, together, hand in hand, as citizens of the free world. and this, to me, is Anarchy at its purest and most glorious. such overwhelming joy fills my heart to witness and physically experience this rise of the people. we haven't won anything yet, but at least we are starting to wake people up.

I love you, people of New York.

[live feed of Occupy Wall Street]

if you want to see more, AnonOps Communication has great videos covering the Occupy movement. as always, Anonymous has been hugely dedicated to the revolution, and i personally find this [non]organization extraordinary and extremely sexy.

"Anonymous seeks to make a difference... There are no leaders. We do not centralize from one area. We have no targets, only outcomes... Perspective is what allows us to decide how we see things, how we judge, how we love, how we feel for one another. We must start to change our perspective of how we see our world. One does not need to possess my ideology, nor am I trying to force it upon you. Rather, I'd like for you to develop your own... We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us."

my allegiance is with you, Anonymous. you beautiful, brave, leaderless computerized voice of truth, you. the power belongs to the PEOPLE.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!! <3

Daddy

2011-06-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

You do not do, you do not do

Any more, black shoe

In which I have lived like a foot

For thirty years, poor and white

Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to kill you.

You died before I had time -

Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,

Ghastly statue with one grey toe

Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic

Where it pours bean green over blue

In the waters off beautiful Nauset.

I used to pray to recover you.

Ach, du. *

In the German tongue, in the Polish town

Scraped flat by the roller

Of wars, wars, wars.

But the name of the town is common.

My Polack friend

Says there are a dozen or two.

So I never could tell where you

Put your foot, your root,

I never could talk to you.

The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.

Ich, ich, ich, ich, **

I could hardly speak.

I thought every German was you.

And the language obscene

An engine, an engine

Chuffling me off like a Jew.

A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.

I began to talk like a Jew.

I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna

Are not very pure or true.

With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck

And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack

I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,

With your Luftwaffe***, your gobbledygoo.

And your neat moustache

And your Aryan eye, bright blue.

Panzer****-man, panzer-man, O You -

Not God but a swastika

So black no sky could squeak through.

Every woman adores a Fascist,

The boot in the face, the brute

Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,

In the picture I have of you,

A cleft in your chin instead of your foot

But no less a devil for that, no not

Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.

I was ten when they buried you.

At twenty I tried to die

And get back, back, back to you.

I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,

And they stuck me together with glue.

And then I knew what to do.

I made a model of you,

A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the screw.

And I said I do, I do.

So daddy, I'm finally through.

The black telephone's off at the root,

The voices just can't worm through.

If I've killed one man, I've killed two -

The vampire who said he was you

And drank my blood for a year,

Seven years, if you want to know.

Daddy, you can lie back now.

There's a stake in your fat black heart

And the villagers never liked you.

They are dancing and stamping on you.

They always knew it was you.

Daddy, Daddy, you bastard, I'm through.

Sylvia Plath, 1962

from Ariel.

* Oh, you (German)

** I (German)

*** The Nazi air force in World War II.

**** An armored unit in the German army in WWII.

on about the10th time reading this, I cried uncontrollably. something moved inside of me, and it hurt. it still hurts, and i think it will always hurt.

but.. i don't think this is a sad poem. it's certainly dark and fucking intense, but i think it's an empowering poem. by simultaneously connecting her father to her ex-husband, Hitler, and God altogether, i think this poem refers to all oppressive powers; sexual, religious, and political. Sylvia Plath transcends her physical relationship with her father to a metaphysical reflection in which she empowers herself by abandoning the dark forces that burden and dishearten her.

what makes this poem so sad is the fact that she stuck her head in an oven and left this world, just 4 months after writing it. this was about a month after she'd left her unfaithful husband.

i have killed my "daddy" too, a while ago. and although i feel empowered to forgive and to accept the flaws of the giant brutes of men who tore me to pieces, the evil black spirits still haunt me. every Hitler that i have loved was a reflection of my relationship with my father. my father, was never a daddy to me. a proud man, a flawed man, but a good man. i love him for the man he is, and for the man wishes to be, yet i still mourn for the little girl who had to stake her daddy's heart, just to survive and bloom into the flawed and damaged woman she is today.

Sylvia Plath, I adore you. <3

cat art saves the day, again.

2011-04-06T23:52:00.000-07:00

this is EXACTLY how i felt after my physics midterm today.

cat art for the win. <3

uh huh, yea, yea, i'm listening. i'm listening.

cuddle time!

you know what's better than cat photos with funny captions?

LIVE cat art.

peek a boo!

[applaud]

bravo.

puppy art for the encore.

thank you, kind people of the internet, for taking the time to brighten my day.

cheers,

Vamos Angelinos, Vamos Campiones!

2011-04-03T02:30:00.000-07:00

2 April 2011

Los Angeles Galaxy vs. Philadelphia Union

Home Depot Center, Section 121.

Angel City Brigade,

you've completely won me over.

thank you for the most amazing experience.

fyi. that's David Beckham, right there in the middle. :)

salutes to ACB, from the team.

thanks Chrystal and Glenn,

and their beautiful friends of the Angel City Brigade.

see you guys at the next tailgate. ;)

oh Egypt, I love you.

2011-02-20T18:53:00.000-08:00

you are beautiful.

long live the revolution.

"one day, i'm gonna whistle?"

2011-02-09T01:30:00.000-08:00

this 24 yr-old dreamboat & his 6 yr-old daughter deserves wonderful things. read their story here & see more of them here.

replay video as necessary.
and once you get that overwhelming desire to hug and love this beautiful pair forever, buy their t-shirts. he's a full-time student at UCSD who supports his two daughters whilst trying to pay off his student loans.

kudos to Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

catharsis

2010-12-30T04:13:00.000-08:00

By alienation is meant a mode of experience in which the person experiences [her]self as an alien. [s]he has become, one might say, estranged from [her]self. [s]he does not experience [her]self as the center of [her] world, as the creator of [her] own acts -- but [her] acts and their consequences have become [her] masters, whom [s]he obeys, or whom [s]he may even worship. The alienated person is out of touch with [her]self as [s]he is out of touch with any other person. [s]he, like the others, is experienced as things are experienced; with the senses and with common sense, but at the same time without being related to oneself and to the world outside positively.

Erich Fromm

I can negate everything of that part of me that lives on vague nostalgias, except this desire for unity, this longing to solve, this need for clarity and cohesion. I can refute everything in this world surrounding me that offends or enraptures me, except this chaos, this sovereign chance and this divine equivalence which springs from anarchy. I don't know whether this world has meaning that transcends it. But I know that I do not know that meaning and that it is impossible for me just now to know it. What can a meaning outside my condition mean to me? I can understand only in human terms.

Albert Camus

[wo]man is nothing else but what [s]he makes of [her]self.

Jean-Paul Sartre

infinite.

2010-12-03T20:37:00.000-08:00

...

someone had an accident
above the burning trees
while somewhere distant peacefully
our vulgar princes sleep
dead kids don't get photographed
god bless our dead marines

the hungry and the hanged
the damaged and the done
striving 'long this spinning rock
tumbling past the sun
get through this life without killing anyone
and consider yourself golden

...

when the world is sick
can no one be well
but i dreamt we was all beautiful and strong

when the world is sick
can no one be well
but i dreamt we was all beautiful and strong

when the world is sick
can no one be well
but i dreamt we was all beautiful and strong

when the world is sick
can no one be well
but i dreamt we was all beautiful and strong

when the world is sick
can no one be well
but i dreamt we was all beautiful and strong

when the world is sick

can no one be well

but i dreamt we was all beautiful and strong

...

[Thee Silver Mount Zion Memorial Orchestra - Dead Marines]

please play these songs at my funeral.

[Thee Silver Mount Zion Memorial Orchestra - stumble then rise some awkward morning]

[Mountain Man - Animal Tracks]

"think peace, act peace, spread peace, and imagine peace. i love you!"

2010-10-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

THE best google dedication, in my opinion. by far.

and
Yoko Ono is the cutest 77yrs old woman, ever.

imagine,

how much more tragic our world would be,

had he not existed.

(October 9, 1940 - December 8, 1980)

♥

Happy 70th Birthday, Sir John Lennon.

I love you forever.

and I will continue spreading love and peace,
as you and Yoko have,
until I die.

xoxoxoxoxo,

ballerina ♥

dear america.

2010-10-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

completely off topic, but how fucking cute is this?

sad, i know, poor kitty...

no h8

2010-08-04T03:37:00.000-07:00

right on.

dissent keeps democracy alive.

2010-03-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

today was the 7 year anniversary of the U.S. invasion on Iraq. to commemorate, we protested to stop the war. the thing with social activism, especially with these rallies and protests, is that we can never know how much change we are actually affecting on the situation, if any at all. and on that note, i'm greatly conflicted whether my marching for 5 hours on a hot spring day in los angeles is really just a selfish act that makes ME feel better about MY role in society. unless i can physically stand in front of a bullet to save an innocent child from being murdered, what good am i really doing?

nonetheless, i have concluded that it's better than sitting at home doing nothing while my government commits more murders and crimes in the name of capitalism. so what if protesting the war makes me a selfish person? isn't it a bigger crime to stay silent at the face of injustice? i think so. i shall quote Henry David Thoreau here, from his beautiful "Civil Disobedience":

If the injustice is part of the necessary friction of the machine of government, let it go, let it go:  perchance it will wear smooth - certainly the machine will wear out.  If the injustice has a spring or a pulley or a rope or a crank exclusively for itself, then perhaps you may consider whether the remedy will not be worse than the evil;  but if it is such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then I say break the law.  Let your life be a counter friction to stop the machine.

if we can't stop the machine, let us at least cause enough friction to slow the machine down. if enough of us create this friction, the machine will eventually have to come to a stop. besides, it's such a BEAUTIFUL feeling to be a part of that crowd. what good is democracy if we do nothing to voice our dissent, right? isn't it our duty as free citizens to try and stop these bullies from committing more murders of the voiceless?

i think so. i will not sit still and forfeit my freedom and intelligence. civil disobedience will never cease so long as there is pain and injustice in our world.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!!

truth is both brutal and beautiful.

and humor works better sometimes. :)

thank you,

March20.org

ANSWER Coalition

Friends Committee on National Legislation

Orange County Peace Coalition

90.7 KPFK FM

+ hundreds of other organizations & individuals that made today possible.

power to the peaceful.

love nature, love life.

2009-02-12T00:19:00.000-08:00

today, we celebrate the 200th birth anniversary of a man who loved life and nature with his entire being. he started it all from collecting beetles with his cousin as a young boy.

happy birthday, sir Charles Darwin.

thank you for sharing with us your love of beauty, your brilliant mind, and your incomparable intelligence. i hope you're not too depressed at the sight of our ignorance today. you're changing our lives still, everyday, and i do hope that one day, the survival of our kind will depend on the evolution of our minds and not the power of greed.

see, you're a hero. an inspiration.

one love

2009-02-06T18:44:00.000-08:00

spark it up!

happy birthday.

thank you for sharing your beeeeeautiful soul with the world.

emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;

none but ourselves can free our mind.

[redemption song, bob marley]

all is full of love.

2008-11-21T17:59:00.000-08:00

i'm a fountain of blood. in the shape of a girl.
- Björk

happy birthday!

today is beautiful because you were born, many moons ago. thank you for existing, and thank you for sharing yourself with us. you've changed my world, so many times over.

i can't wait to visit Iceland and find you. :)

make peace, not war.

2008-11-19T01:32:00.000-08:00

my apologies to the Christian community for singling you guys out as the entire blame for the outrage that is proposition 8. i used you to make myself feel better and i'm sorry i attacked your beliefs. i was being arrogant by dismissing adam and eve as a logical reason for your vote. i won't say that i'm wrong, though, because i still feel that anyone who discriminate against any demographic is wrong, no matter what reason for your conviction. if you want to believe in fairytales and let it define who you are as a person, then it's your right, and your choice. so fuck allllll organized religions and their millions of unpaid tax dollars that funded this atrocity.

i do know that hate is counterproductive to undoing this wrong. overturnprop8.com quotes Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.;

"The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people. For many of our white brothers as evidenced by their presence here today have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We can not walk alone."

we cannot fight intolerance with intolerance. so i've decided to be peaceful in my activism. and instead of sitting at home angry, i'm painting a white tee and going out to watch a theatrical release of Gus Van Sant's newest film. join me, won't you?

In the wake of an election and this pivotal shift in American values, it hearkens almost eerily to the elections of thirty years ago when a certain man named Harvey Milk was elected to public office as the City Supervisor of San Francisco, the first openly gay man elected to public office in California. On December 5th, 2008 Gus van Sant will unveil his newest film “Milk” in wide release, detailing the events of the man who fought against stigma, won, only to be gunned down.

The purpose of this event is a simple one. Show that you cannot support Proposition 8 as an American, straight or queer, who believes in the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

On December 5th, 2008 follow two easy steps:

1. Take a plain white tee-shirt and write “I Cannot Support Proposition 8.”

2. If it’s screening near you, whether or not you live in Calfornia, or New York, or any state across the United States, wear your declaration to the opening weekend showings of “Milk.” Even if it’s not screening near you, wear your declaration December 5th, or make your declaration here that you cannot support Proposition 8. Do so firmly and peacefully.

It takes courage to not support discrimination. It takes courage to not support amendments to constitutions which discredit the love and compassion you feel for another human being. It takes courage to make a public outcry that not all of America's citizens have their equal rights. It takes courage to not support Proposition 8.

photos from overturnprop8.com

some websites that may be helpful for further action and updates:

Courage Campaign's Petition to Repeal Proposition 8

Join the Impact

Million Gay March

California Outreach

Equality Action Now

fuck proposition 8

2008-11-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

To: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

I, myself, and many Californians I know are disgusted with the hatred that the passing of proposition 8 brought. I am asking you to read this over, THE FACTS, not the propaganda. Open your mind for a minute, and realize that this is terrible for future generations as well. How do you know that your future children or grandchildren won't come to you and tell you they are homosexual? Wouldn't you want your child to live a life in which the love they found was supported? Plain and simple, if you are an American, you should believe in preserving the constitution. Proposition 8's passing took away the 14th amendment for a group of people, and I would like to give it back.

Facts v. Fiction
Proposition 8 would eliminate fundamental rights for a group of Californians. It's unfair and it's wrong.

Fiction: Prop 8 doesn't discriminate against gay people.
Fact: Prop 8 is simple: it eliminates the rights for same-sex couples to marry. Prop 8 would deny equal protections and write discrimination against one group of people—lesbian and gay people—into our state constitution.

Fiction: Teaching children about same-sex marriage will happen here unless we pass Prop 8.
Fact: Not one word in Prop 8 mentions education. And no child can be forced, against the will of their parents, to be taught anything about health and family issues at school. California law prohibits it.
California's top educators including Superintendent of Schools Jack O'Connell and California Teachers all agree: Prop 8 has nothing to do with education.

Fiction: Churches could lose their tax-exemption status.
Fact: The court decision regarding marriage specifically says "no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs."

Fiction: A Massachusetts case about a parent's objection to the school curriculum will happen here.
Fact: California gives parents an absolute right to remove their kids and opt-out of teaching on health and family instruction they don't agree with. The opponents know that California law already covers this and Prop 8 won't affect it, so they bring up an irrelevant case in Massachusetts.

Fiction: Four Activist Judges in San Francisco…
Fact: Prop 8 is about eliminating a fundamental right. Judges didn't grant the right, the constitution guarantees the right. Proponents of Prop 8 use an outdated and stale argument that judges aren't supposed to protect rights and freedoms. Prop 8 is about whether Californians are willing to amend the constitution for the sole purpose of eliminating a fundamental right for one group of citizens.

Fiction: If Prop 8 isn't passed, people can be sued over personal beliefs.
Fact: California's laws already prohibit discrimination against anyone based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. This has nothing to do with marriage.

Fiction: Pepperdine University supports the Yes on 8 campaign.
Fact: The University has publicly disassociated itself from Professor Richard Peterson of Pepperdine University, who is featured in the ad, and has asked to not be identified in the Yes on 8 advertisements.

Fiction: Unless Prop 8 passes, California parents won't have the right to object to what their children are taught in school.
Fact: California law clearly gives parents and guardians broad authority to remove their children from any health instruction if it conflicts with their religious beliefs or moral convictions.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

liberty and justice for ALL, was it?

sign the petition.

adam and steve

2008-11-05T12:21:00.000-08:00

we should equally be allowed to marry the person we love and legally spend the rest of our lives with whomever we choose. why the FUCK is that so difficult to comprehend? why should any individual need to FIGHT for our fundamental rights? aren't we in fucking America?

currently, with 97.9% of precints reporting, it looks like Proposition 8 will pass.

in an attempt to cheer me up, people keep telling me that Prop. 8 only redefines the marriage in the State Constitution but does not take away any rights or benefits from gay domestic partners. that's also what the Republican proponents of this proposition keep telling people to support them.

what rights are they talking about?? what rights do they have in the first place if they're not constitutionally recognized? and since when did gay people get ANY fucking benefits??

first off, the fact that many of the proponents of this proposition give themselves pretentious names like, 'protect marriage' pisses me off. gay marriage is not ruining anyone else's perfect fucking marriage. protect your own marriage and let others protect theirs as they wish. they're not shoving homosexuality at schools down our children's throats. all children should be taught to treat every person with equal respect to begin with. if anything should be protected by the State constitution, it should be EQUALITY and the FUNDAMENTAL FREEDOM we all have as human beings.

it's a sad day to be a Californian. i'm ashamed, appalled, and completely heartbroken at this result.

"Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

are you fucking kidding me?? uggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. fuck you!!!!!

BUT.

there is one last thing we CAN do.

Keep the pressure on them to count all the provisional and absentee ballots!

Roughly 400,000 votes separate yes from no on Prop 8 – out of 10 million votes tallied.

Based on turnout estimates reported yesterday, we expect that there are more than 3 million and possibly as many as 4 million absentee and provisional ballots yet to be counted.

Tell them that you want ALL the proposition 8 votes counted!

Call today!

CA secretary of state:
(916) 657-2166,
or you can lodge a recorded complaint by calling 1-800-345-VOTE

obama for your mama.

2008-11-04T21:36:00.000-08:00

YES!

i love our new president.

i'm in tears right now and so are people all around the world. just 11 more weeks until that dumb shit of a monkey is finally fucking outta there. what a relief and what a historical moment. and what a beeeeautiful, speech that was, wasn't it?? his solemn look and stance only proved how ready he really is to take this on. i respect that in our next leader.

congratulations, mr. president. and thank you, for the hope you brought to America this evening.

yes, we can!

anarchy forever.

2008-10-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

an excerpt from Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts.

".. No political philosophy I ever heard of loves the human race as much as anarchism. Every other way of looking at the world says that people have to be controlled, and ordered around, and governed. Only the anarchists trust human beings enough to let them work it out for themselves..."

i'm starting to think that this election is turning out to be more religious than political. i believe that America needs a reality check, and not according to some book that was written by ignorant (but powerful) human beings, thousands of years ago. i believe that people should stop killing people in the name of God. i believe that people should stop trying to BE GOD. i believe that we all need to really realize just how fucking stupid we all are, and have always been throughout our entire existence. i believe we need a humble government to clean up after the last 8 years of the American power trip.

vote for equality. vote for women's rights. vote for the progress of humanity. don't let us go back a century in evolution. vote to erase these useless fucking labels. don't let the Christian cult and the government mafia make all the choices for you. you have the right to think for yourself, even if they say otherwise.

happy birthday

2008-10-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

John Lennon
10.9.1940 - 12.8.1980

♥

music frees my soul.

2008-10-08T00:56:00.000-07:00

♥

Sigur Rós!!

10.1.08 @ Copley Symphony Hall in Downtown San Diego.

absolutely beeeautiful. i wanna move to Iceland.

Iron & Wine @ SDSU Open Air Theatre, 10.3.08

they opened for the Swell Season

[from the movie ONCE. ♥]

Marketa Irglova from the Czech Republic and Glen Hansard from Ireland, with their band.

Colm Mac Con Iomaire,

the violinist of the band, did a beautiful solo.

[i have no idea how you pronounce that because i thought they were calling him Collin the entire time.]

here's a clip. enjoy.